"They have Internet on computers now?"

...Homer Simpson

Sadism:
I don't know where you stand on an issue like this, faithful reader, but there's something about that video that makes me so happy it worries me a little. If you don't want to sit through the commercial to watch that video, it basically depicts a traffic stop where a 72 year old woman is pulled over for speeding. What ensues is amazing. She refuses to sign the ticket, which means state law requires her to be arrested. However, she repeatedly challenges the offer, ending with a final challenge of "tase me"... As you may be able to discern from my delight, the aforementioned tasing takes place and this lady gets every bit of what is coming to her. As a general rule, I like old people, I'm related to some of them, I work with them on a regular basis, I see them in the grocery store, but some times I just get the urge to see some belligerent old person get tased for being an asshole, and finally that day has come. Also, in that video Matt Lauer delivers a hilarious line to whomever that broad is when he asks her:
"What's your opinion on this"
chick "My personal opinoin?"
"No that guy's opinion over there"
Oh today show you slay me,...

Keyboards:
I'm sure if I researched this I could come up with a legitimate answer to this, but I'd rather pose a Seinfeldian question instead. Why is it that the cent sympbol is not on a keyboard but this thing: ^ is? There have been dozens of occasions where I've wanted to type the cent symbol (this posting for example) where it would be so much easier to be able to hit a button or two. I don't even know what ^ means (thankfully, Google explains). The only time I even see it used is when people make this face thing ^_^ and I don't really get what that's supposed to be either.

Ties:
I had to learn how to tie a tie a few weeks ago, so I looked to the internet for some help. I was successful, but I also concluded there are some weird people who know how to tie ties and wish to demonstrate their skill online (Alright, that last one isn't that weird, but there's something emasculating about learning how to tie a tie from a girl. That makes me insecure and maybe sexist, but at least I'm honest. Also, how hilarious it takes that one guy almost 10 minutes to explain it). Also, who the fuck was the first person to decide that it was stylish to tie a complicated knot in a long piece of cloth around his neck? ... and how did that catch on?

Sports:
I've starting to watch a lot less sports than I used to. In the beginning of this great blog, I had even kicked around the idea of making this a predominantly sports-themed operation, but that has changed. There are two main reasons for this.
1. My favorite team ripped my beating heart out and devoured it as it was still beating last year, and they're follow up? The most uncompelling group of medicre players managed by a guy 20 years passed his prime, with no hopes of getting better because the team's current ownership is bankrupt and stalling its sale of the team. The collective effect: I've now realized there are more important things to invest time and emotion into than a bunch of guys who wipe their asses with $1000 bills.
2, ESPN. Instead of appealing to actual sports fans, these chumps continue to do all they can to appeal to the drooling masses who watch sports just to see bouncing balls and guys running into each other. And their flagship show supplies 7 to 8 hours per day of pissing on the face of jourlaistic integrity. And they employ Stuart Scott and Chris Berman.