Thursday, October 8, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Other Peoples' Kids
Quick one today blog readers.
I need to let off some steam after a number of incidents today regarding long winded stories about other peoples' children. As of right now, I'm lucky enough to not work in an industry where my coworkers have reliable internet access, and don't "call the phone company because Yahoos changed my desk screen and now I don't know how to use it" so I can write this without the slightest fear that my brain dead coworker will read this and become offended. Disclaimer/intro aside, I want to pose a question to you loyal blog reader. Perhaps you're a father of three reading his son's shitty blog which he occasionally updates despite repeated attempts to encourage his writing. Or maybe you're just a wandering blog reader hurling through the blogosphere abyss and accidentally stumbling upon this shit show. Either way, have you ever heard a story about somebody else's kids and cared? Like ever? People probably don't even listen to Barack Obama's mom when she talks about how proud she is about her son. There's some kind of instinctual switch that goes off in the mind of the human upon hearing the first words of a kid story. While I'm on this freight train of hate, I also am now officially annoyed by the phrase "the boys." There is no "the boys" or "the guys"... stop that shit. There are well over 3 billion males on this planet, so that phrase needs to be deleted from the human lexicon forever in all languages. Anyway, I just needed to put that out there to any of you selfish assholes who think it's socially acceptable to go around talking about your kids, or writing blogs about your kids, or showing pictures of your kids. Just talk about your latest bowel movement. It will be much more thought provoking, and you will probably not inspire a pissy blog post, and if you do inspire a blog post about a bowel movement story, send me that link.
I need to let off some steam after a number of incidents today regarding long winded stories about other peoples' children. As of right now, I'm lucky enough to not work in an industry where my coworkers have reliable internet access, and don't "call the phone company because Yahoos changed my desk screen and now I don't know how to use it" so I can write this without the slightest fear that my brain dead coworker will read this and become offended. Disclaimer/intro aside, I want to pose a question to you loyal blog reader. Perhaps you're a father of three reading his son's shitty blog which he occasionally updates despite repeated attempts to encourage his writing. Or maybe you're just a wandering blog reader hurling through the blogosphere abyss and accidentally stumbling upon this shit show. Either way, have you ever heard a story about somebody else's kids and cared? Like ever? People probably don't even listen to Barack Obama's mom when she talks about how proud she is about her son. There's some kind of instinctual switch that goes off in the mind of the human upon hearing the first words of a kid story. While I'm on this freight train of hate, I also am now officially annoyed by the phrase "the boys." There is no "the boys" or "the guys"... stop that shit. There are well over 3 billion males on this planet, so that phrase needs to be deleted from the human lexicon forever in all languages. Anyway, I just needed to put that out there to any of you selfish assholes who think it's socially acceptable to go around talking about your kids, or writing blogs about your kids, or showing pictures of your kids. Just talk about your latest bowel movement. It will be much more thought provoking, and you will probably not inspire a pissy blog post, and if you do inspire a blog post about a bowel movement story, send me that link.
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