Five Things I Wanted to Write About

As I have written about ad nauseum, I very rarely can think of things to write about. Is that in itself a shtick? Am I trying to be enigmatic? Why would a banana grab another banana? I mean, those are the the kind of questions I don't want to answer.

In one of my more focused mind wanderings at work today, I thought of making each post a top five list of things I want to write about regardless of relevance, timeliness, or appeal to my readers. Hopefully this won't be the straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back that loses the interest of the handful of readers I may or may not have. I guess I can only hope for the best...


Lizard Kings
I stumbled upon a great show about monitor lizards during one of my bi-yearly viewings of PBS last night, and it was one of the more entertaining things I've seen on tv lately. PBS is really only good for two things, nature documentaries and Sesame Street, and only one of those does anything for me (sorry Snufalufagus). For whatever reason I'm easily captivated by nature shows, even if they are as mundane as following around a bearded Australian man who digs lizards out of holes and straps video cameras to them (yes, this is actually what happens in that documentary), and PBS usually has the best nature shows that remain focused and informative throughout without talking down to the viewer. Animal Planet and Discover Channel usually show decent nature docs, but most are lacking in one of those areas (with the exception of Planet Earth... although Sigorney Weaver's narration as half relaxation tape reader/half 1-900 receptionist took a little off that show's fastball). Anyway, here's a link to the aforementioned program.

"The Old College Try"
I think a social more should be established that dissuades people who did not graduate from college from using this phrase. Today, my boss told me to "give [random remedial task] the old college try." In a perfect world I would have replied with something like "that's an ironic phrase to use, you know, with you not having graduated college and all, therefore probably not knowing what a college try even is," but I just fantasized about how sweet it would be to say that instead. However, the phrase "college try" is quite silly regardless of education level, and most people who graduated college don't really know what it means. I'm not going to google the origins of the phrase or anything like that because I doubt it's very interesting. Really, the closest thing to trying hard in college is taking a cross cultural journalism test hungover and on 2 hours of sleep, or trying to act convincing when you tell the chick in your room when you wake up that you really should hang out again soon.

of Montreal
Here's where the obligatory music bit gets tossed in. After listening to of Montreal leading up to Lollapalooza, then watching them put on a fantastic show; I acquired a large quantity of their music. Lately they've climbed into the top 3 of my favorite active bands, and Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?, hasn't left my car's cd player in 3 weeks. I'll forgo any additional slurpage in favor of linking an interview done by lead singer Kevin Barnes with Hall and Oates. Just to translate that into fanboy for you: "The dude from of Montreal interviews fucking Hall and Oates... the dudes who sing 'kiss on my list'!!!11!" ...Now that I think about it, I should probably embed that video into this blog right now. Why don't you take a little break from your close reading of Myke Writes and enjoy...


Greatness. I legitimately like them... probably way more than I should.

Serial Killing
I watched CSI: Miami last night for the first (and most likely last) time ever last night, and the following is by no means limited to my thoughts when I watch CSI: Miami... it goes for pretty much any time I watch a crime show or documentary about a serial killer.... Now blog reader, is it just me, or do you say to yourself (or even say out loud) something like this every time you watch the part in one of these serial killer shows when the guy gets caught "Well that's why he got caught, if I were him I would definitely have done x, y and z..."? Watching this show last night, I couldn't stop saying stuff like "if he would have just waited til that dude walked by to drown her he would've been good or "he did a pretty crappy job burying that body." This means a) I'd be a kick ass serial killer b) I need to clean my act up before things take a tragic turn c) all of the above. I'm going with option a.

Not Having a Fifth Thing to Write About
A top 5 sounds much cooler than a top 4. For the sake of not ending my first "Top 5 things I wanted to write about" post with only four topics, here's a list of cool things that come in fours...
- The Beatles
- the number of cans of beer a regulation ultimate disc can hold
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

...alright, that's enough of that

This Week in TV Viewing

I've been a huge Daily Show for a long time, and John Stewart used to kill it on a nightly basis during the Dubya years, but it's on the brink of jumping the shark after year one of the Obama Administration. I'm not trying to get all politicy here, so don't you worry, I just want to complain about what's on the tv. Basically, the show has turned into a fish in barrel shooting range, with the fish being Fox News. And I love Fox News bashing as much as the next guy, but even (I'm trying to clean up my act so...) [insert demographic of traditionally slow-witted people] could come up with hilarious ways to tear up Fox News, so I'm holding out hope that the shark jump does not come. Stephen Colbert's show, on the other hand, has a shtick that doesn't revolve around directly making fun of a specific political entity and has been able to thrive despite a non-moronic administration being in office.

Speaking of Colbert, ESPN columnist and hands down best sports writer alive, Bill Simmons, was on his show last week and was great as expected.. His new book dropped last week, and if I weren't too cheap to buy it... I'd, uh... buy it.

Simmons is also the man behind the phenomenal 30 for 30 series ESPN is running, the first programming ESPN has introduced in the past 5 years that does not reduce its viewer's IQ. That's probably because ESPN and its production staff give up creative control to 30 different directors, and are, assumedly, unable to drool on the film reel.

Reality

As the throngs who regularly visit this blog already know, sporadic posting has sort of been my modus operandi. Instead of continuously making hilarious tongue-in-cheek remarks about this, I've decided to address this issue head on. My main problem with coming up with content for this blog is determining the scope of topics I would like to write about. As a writer I see myself as a jack of all trades, but a master of none, so posting concert reviews and op eds about music tends to be more mastabatory than anything else, especially since a lot of it is half assed. In the near future I might start another page devoted soley to music as I have with the already-lost-a-lot-of-its-steam sports blog I started a few weeks ago. For now though, I think I'm going to try and live up to the eponymy of this blog and write about myself more. Writers are supposed to write best when they write what they know, so expect a steady stream of dick jokes and "i saw something silly at the store when I went there to buy some chips and here are some smart ass things I thought to say, but had nobody to say it to" type shit.