"This is Sinatra at the Opera... Bring a Blonde"

Today's post is brought to you by utter boredom. This may come across as melodramatic, but I'm hard pressed to come up with a more boring seven day stretch of my life, but at least I'm not in a North Korean work camp...

Publicizing my blog:
This is a somewhat awkward proposition. I equate it to going up to random people and asking them to like me, pretty much for no reason. I actually googled the aforementioned phrase and felt kind of dirty, but the situation as a whole is a catch 22. On one hand, I would like to have more than 3 or 4 readers, but on the other, I feel like a used car salesman or something trudging through these dark recesses of the internet dealing with unsavory characters just so they can read about stupid shit that I usually don't even come up ahead of time, and probably not get half of my jokes. (This might deserve it's own heading, but fuck it... About a week ago, I saw part of some show about inmates who have internet access joining some type of online dating website specially for inmates and finding women who are not inmates who wish to have romantic relationships with them. Shit like that almost makes my head explode. How are there women who are ready and willing to date convicted rapists than there are people willing to read this?) This blog should almost publicize itself... who else is going to bring such a random collection of inane content into a single place? Oh right, that's all the internet is... besides porn and illegal music downloading.

Part Time Employment:
Nothing demonstrates the fine line between self loathing and living "the good life" more than working part time. On the one hand it's great that I can work on my blog for an hour at 2:30 in the afternoon and spend and hour and a half deciding how to redecorate my lizard's cage. But on the other hand it's not such a great feeling when the most productive thing I've done in the past 48 hours is get my haircut and when I show up to work at 3 everybody asks me if I just woke up... and I have to lie to them so I don't feel like such a lazy asshole. But the good news is 20% of college graduates are getting full time jobs. At least there's a chance.

Meeting Girls:
I've been single for a couple weeks, and I'm not in some kind of crazy lustful frenzy to go out and start rounding up girls or anything, but it would be somewhat comforting if there was even the slightest prospect of meeting a girl or two who was somewhat intelligent, possibly even attractive and enjoyable to spend time with. I've racked my brain for ways to meet said female, and the options are less than encouraging:
1. Bars: In general, the guy/girl ratio is somewhere between unpleasant and full blown sausage festival, and the only thing I usually like to do at bars is go with a buddy and make fun of everybody who walks by and tell the bartender she looks 10 years older than she actually is then not get served for an hour... but it's not like this actually happened. However, this was before I started my blog, so maybe I can go and use that as a pick up line.
2. Internet: I don't know if I want to pay to send messages to chicks who are probably putting up photoshopped pictures of themselves, and if I did, I'd probably be too tempted to waste my time sending smart ass shit like "hey what's up with your face" or "your friend looks good in that picture, is she on this site?" Now that I've reread that, the problem seems to be that I'm just an asshole lacking in interpersonal skills. Girls like that right?
3. One of my favorite quotes from Superbad about where to meet women:
Officer Slater: "My first wife, who is a whore, by the way, where do you think I met her? A bar. A bar."
Officer Michaels - "You don't wanna meet a chick at a bar, man. You gotta go to a spin class, a farmer's market, a pumpkin patch.....given the season."

Almost Classic Hip Hop:
I downloaded the new Cool Kids mixtape today, and it's probably their best collection of songs on a single disc today. If you've never listened to them, they're a group of two MCs who get their style from 80's hip hop groups (think Run DMC). It's a pretty cool concept, and when I think about how there are so many rock bands that rely so heavily on older influences, it's kind of surprising that they are one of the only hip hop groups that has such a retro sound. Either way, they're pretty good, especially if you like hearing rhymes about throwback Blazers swag and innocent sounding crack innuendo (see the title of the album).

Classic Hip Hop:
The new Jay Z track is classic. I probably wouldn't even rank him among my top 10 favorite rappers, but when he comes out with shit like this, it's hard not to like him.
P.S. - The post title comes from that song.