Gary Indiana and Mojitos

I was going to write about my top 10 albums today, but I realized that was way too much work, here's this instead...

Girl Scouts:
After a brief conversation with a former girl scout -- just to be clear... former as in like 10 years ago -- I've decided this is more or less a front for selling cookies. Even if it's not, it just seems like it's outdated and having separate boy and girl scouts just reinforces the outdated concept that girls should learn all the homebody things that will help them be good wives to their future men and boys should learn how to saw wood and have the ability to identify various foliage. I guess I'm not opposed to the idea as a whole (unlike this guy), but why not just have one organization? Here's where I'm tempted to go on a rant about people who put their kids in scouts, but after looking at that guy's picture, all I can think is " Holy shit... people who look like that have internet access, and worse yet, they know how to make icons of their own faces." So, further scout rants will have to wait for another day.

How to Win Friends and Influence People:
One of my faithful readers recently gave me this book as a gift, and I finished the Sudoku book in the bathroom, so it's been there for me when I've needed it most. Honestly, so far it has been an enjoyable and somewhat charming read as it was written in the 20s or 30s, but the title is somewhat misleading. The tips in the book are quite useful and would probably help you become slightly more adept at dealing with people, but the author left out these chapters: Be Rich, Be Very Good Looking, Come from a Powerful Family.

Bizarro Super Heroes:
First off, I just read the entire wiki page for bizzaro superman... what this says about my life right now? I don't know, but i love the internet. Anyway, I have to hand it to the guys who wrote those old comics -- they were creative geniuses and they used their genius in such a useless/awesome way. I really like the concept of Bizzaro super heroes and there are many hilarious possibilities. Even though he's not a super hero in the classic sense, I've come up with my own... Bizzaro Indiana Jones, aka Gary Indiana. He would basically just go through a typical day of a Gary, Indianan by going to strip clubs, lighting off fireworks, and smoking weed. If somebody wants to get to work on that comic book and split the profits with me, I'd appreciate it.

Dynamite Fishing:
I randomly found this game when I was bored and looking for something to play online. The game itself is a typical time waster and is not really important to this paragraph, desprite the title bearing its name. More importantly, (note: that is a huge misuse of the word importantly) the commercial that played before the game was for paper towels, which was strange to me. Why would they think the target market for a video game website - almost definitely a bunch of nerdy, teenage boys - would have any use for paper tow... oh wait... sick.

Daniel Tosh's New Show:
Any network that cancels Chapelle's Show and relentlessly hypes Carlos Mencia was bound to find a way to sanitize Daniel Tosh, and the results were about what I expected. It was good for a couple laughs, but overall it was unimpressive. They did air his stand up a few nights before the show debuted and it is probably among the top 5 stand up routines I've ever seen.

The Internet:
I know I've already expressed my love for the internet once today, but I just want to stress that. I don't know what I would do if I lived in a world where I saw a bacardi commercial with an awesome song in it and there was no way I could figure out what the song was and then download it for free and listen to it 10 times in one day. Also, I still haven't decided if its worth defending my heterosexuality to order a Mojito in public, but that is an awesome commercial (even though it didn't really make me want a Mojito).