Here we go...
Bike riding:
I got a bike a couple days ago. You know, just to stay in shape, save some gas money, be eco friendly and whatnot... it all seemed so great. Until I rode to work today. The way there I was dodging these goddamn things the whole way, which was a good reminder that I don't have health insurance. Then, on the way home i ran over a pot hole and my bike pretty much imploded. Serves me right for Saving Money. Living better. So, I returned that shit shortly after my long walk home, and tomorrow I'll begin my search for a bike not sold by an evil big box corporation. Also, how big of a douche bag do you have to be to go on the Walmart website and write positive reviews of their products? It's not like they won't make money if you don't go on their site and hype up their poorly made crap for them.
NPR:
This is the anti-Walmart in radio form. I just started listening to this and it's amazing. I listened to an hour long show about karaoke and a guy talk about the history of his farm in the middle of Wisconsin. If you have never listened to it, I highly recommend it. And as an added benefit, the shows aren't interrupted every five minutes by advertisements for Black Jack Gentlemens Club and Enzyte.
Psychogeography:
I'm not quite sure what this is, but it seems messed up and awesome. I heard a little about it on the aforementioned NPR, and it seems weird. From what the guy said, this group of Frenchmen started this around the turn of the 20th century and they basically tried to explore places by doing things like flipping a coin to determine which direction to turn on a given intersection. What this has to do with anything I don't know, but I figured I'd share it with the masses.
Family Blogs:
I'm a fan of the 'next blog' button that this site implements. It gives the viewer the chance to see blogs they would never see and learn things they may otherwise never know. Additionally, it gives me material to make fun of. I also realize that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, but I honestly have a difficult time appreciating the concept of a blog dedicated soley to one's own family. It just seems masturbatory. It seems like emailing the family's grandma(s) would achieve the same function. It's not like your friends from work are going to waste their time looking at a picture of your kid petting a dog or reading about how your family went camping. It's already bad enough hearing about someone's kids when their talking to you -- even when you can tune them out and imagine how cool it would be to control Monster Island like the weird Japanese alien people in Destroy All Monsters.
P.S. - A while ago I realized that when you dial the 1-312 are code for Chicago, it sounds like the first four notes of the Godzilla theme song
Music Video:
This isn't a new song, but it fits with the Godzilla theme. I file that under the "could have have been a much better video" category, but it's still alright, and that song is really good. Tokyo Police Club is an underrated band, but they were on Desperate Housewives for some reason, so I guess they deserve their lack of respect... if that makes sense.
The hardest job:
I didn't really know how to title this little section here, but at work today I came up with the two professions that consistently do the best work, despite having the shittiest things to work with: gravediggers and the guys who make movie previews. The first one is pretty obvious. You are instantly weird and creepy if you make your living burying corpses, there is absolutely no arguing this. But how many times do hear about a poorly dug grave? The second one I realized when I somehow laughed while watching the preview for that Land of the Lost movie with Will Ferrell (which will not live up to the poorly made mid-90s saturday morning tv series). There's no way that movie is funny... not a chance. In fact, I'm almost positive Will Ferrell is just making the same movie over and over with slightly different backdrops and people have just not realized it yet. But somehow, that preview guy found some part of that movie that made me laugh, and for just a second I though to myself: "Hey that looks pretty funny. Maybe I'll go see that."
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Rambo, Laundry Detergent, and Lil Flip
I got back from a camping trip yesterday and haven't written in a while, so here's some more of the same crap you all are used to...
Concentrated Laundry Detergent:
I thought of this a couple weeks ago then forgot about it since I didn't do laundry for about a month. How can a company just make half of what they used to and sell it for the same price? There's no way that shit is 2x as strong and how could this possibly be tested on a regular basis? If I owned a company that made any type of liquid product, you better believe I would put all my shit in smaller bottles and market it as "twice as strong".
Late Night Talk Show Musical Acts:
For whatever reason I get really into the musical acts when I watch these talk shows. I got into The Strokes, one of my favorite bands (despite coming out with an album once every four years), after seeing them on SNL back in the day. I bring this up because one of the better performances I've seen went down on Leno last week and it's a must watch. I haven't listened to The Decemberists much, but they killed that and I will be investigating them further. That chick also creeps me out in an awesome way, if that's possible.
Guilty pleasures:
Speaking of music I was talking to somebody about musical guilty pleasures. Since my itunes contains the Spice Girls, Duran Duran and Will Smith (to name a few of the many), I argued that there was no such thing in order to not feel like a douche. But in all honesty there is. I only have a couple tracks from those aforementioned embarrassments, however I have over one hundred screwed up rap songs. If you're not privy to this genre - which wouldn't be surprising since this blog probably doesn't appeal to many weed-smoking southern rap fans - here is one of my personal favorites. If you can just look passed the awesomeness for one second, you have to admit that finer works of music have been produced. On the other hand, looking pased the awesomeness is not easy - "I just went to the car lot and bought a Lambo / I've got 7 DVDs and I'm watching Rambo." Rapping about owning 7 DVDs with Rambo being one of them only two lines after rhyming Expedition with fishin'... that shit is great. I don't even care that I could probably play random notes on my baritone and come up with a higher quality musical piece.
Rambo 2:
This is by far better than Rambo 1. In my opinion it is the best sequel ever. Not the best film that is a sequel, but the greatest improvement from original to second movie. From what I understand, in the first movie, they intentionally tried to limit the number of deaths atributed to Rambo, but in the second one, the opposite approach was taken, and cinematic greatness results. Also this exchange takes place:
Murdock: And if I were you... I'd never make the mistake of bringing this subject up again.
Trautman: Oh you're the one who's making the mistake.
Murdock: Yeah? What mistake?
Trautman: Rambo.
Concentrated Laundry Detergent:
I thought of this a couple weeks ago then forgot about it since I didn't do laundry for about a month. How can a company just make half of what they used to and sell it for the same price? There's no way that shit is 2x as strong and how could this possibly be tested on a regular basis? If I owned a company that made any type of liquid product, you better believe I would put all my shit in smaller bottles and market it as "twice as strong".
Late Night Talk Show Musical Acts:
For whatever reason I get really into the musical acts when I watch these talk shows. I got into The Strokes, one of my favorite bands (despite coming out with an album once every four years), after seeing them on SNL back in the day. I bring this up because one of the better performances I've seen went down on Leno last week and it's a must watch. I haven't listened to The Decemberists much, but they killed that and I will be investigating them further. That chick also creeps me out in an awesome way, if that's possible.
Guilty pleasures:
Speaking of music I was talking to somebody about musical guilty pleasures. Since my itunes contains the Spice Girls, Duran Duran and Will Smith (to name a few of the many), I argued that there was no such thing in order to not feel like a douche. But in all honesty there is. I only have a couple tracks from those aforementioned embarrassments, however I have over one hundred screwed up rap songs. If you're not privy to this genre - which wouldn't be surprising since this blog probably doesn't appeal to many weed-smoking southern rap fans - here is one of my personal favorites. If you can just look passed the awesomeness for one second, you have to admit that finer works of music have been produced. On the other hand, looking pased the awesomeness is not easy - "I just went to the car lot and bought a Lambo / I've got 7 DVDs and I'm watching Rambo." Rapping about owning 7 DVDs with Rambo being one of them only two lines after rhyming Expedition with fishin'... that shit is great. I don't even care that I could probably play random notes on my baritone and come up with a higher quality musical piece.
Rambo 2:
This is by far better than Rambo 1. In my opinion it is the best sequel ever. Not the best film that is a sequel, but the greatest improvement from original to second movie. From what I understand, in the first movie, they intentionally tried to limit the number of deaths atributed to Rambo, but in the second one, the opposite approach was taken, and cinematic greatness results. Also this exchange takes place:
Murdock: And if I were you... I'd never make the mistake of bringing this subject up again.
Trautman: Oh you're the one who's making the mistake.
Murdock: Yeah? What mistake?
Trautman: Rambo.
Friday, May 15, 2009
I saw a band called The Netherfriends. Mild entertainment ensued.
I'm starting this post without absolutely no idea of what I'm going to write about, but I have an hour to kill and I'm in the mood to write...
Concert:
I went to a free show last night at Reggie's Rock House in the city. The venue was pretty nice - a small room that fit a couple hundred I'd guess. The sound was alright too and I was only one row from the stage which was sweet. Pet Lions, The Netherfriends, and Maps & Atlases played in that order. Pet Lions didn't sound that impressive live compared to some of their songs I heard online. They were a typical four piece indie-pop band with a fairly boring sounding lead singer. Netherfriends, despite having one of the worst band names ever, was a little better. Their singer played synth, guitar, percussion, ann samples. Their drummer was awesome. And I still don't know what their third guy was doing the whole time. He had a table of various precussion instruments, but I didn't hear any of them and I could barely hear is background vocals. The last band, Maps & Atlases, was a math rock group. I know what math rock sounds like, but it's hard to descibe to someone who has never heard it. Wikipedia attempts. They had a really polished sound and put on a good show. Also, their lead singer acted like how Mr. Rogers would act if he were a front man. He didn't really talk at all between songs aside from things like "Thanks a bunch guys" "Thanks for coming along tonight" and all with an eerily calm smile.
Things that sucked about my concert going experience:
1. Having to run from the red line stop on state street to union station to catch the last train of the night because my brother took his sweet ass time leaving the concert.
2. I had two songs stuck in my head the entire night, and both were from a band that wasn't playing.
P.S. - The video from that first link is one of the coolest music videos I've seen in a while.
Fishing:
My brother and I tried to go fishing yesterday and failed miserably. I bought a new rod/reel and the reel didn't live up to its name. My brother lost two of the three bobbers within 15 minutes, and that was that. Also, I think we may be the first two people to wake up at 5:30 in the morning to go fishing and then see a 10pm concert at Reggie's Rock House on the same day. If somebody reading this can make sure that this fact is put in my obituary, I would very much appreciate it.
Graduating College:
I do this in two days. I still don't have a clue what I'm going to do after though. Well, I'm going to a dinner at a restaurant after, but that's more of a short term thing. I should probably start figuring out what comes after the restaurant...
Concert:
I went to a free show last night at Reggie's Rock House in the city. The venue was pretty nice - a small room that fit a couple hundred I'd guess. The sound was alright too and I was only one row from the stage which was sweet. Pet Lions, The Netherfriends, and Maps & Atlases played in that order. Pet Lions didn't sound that impressive live compared to some of their songs I heard online. They were a typical four piece indie-pop band with a fairly boring sounding lead singer. Netherfriends, despite having one of the worst band names ever, was a little better. Their singer played synth, guitar, percussion, ann samples. Their drummer was awesome. And I still don't know what their third guy was doing the whole time. He had a table of various precussion instruments, but I didn't hear any of them and I could barely hear is background vocals. The last band, Maps & Atlases, was a math rock group. I know what math rock sounds like, but it's hard to descibe to someone who has never heard it. Wikipedia attempts. They had a really polished sound and put on a good show. Also, their lead singer acted like how Mr. Rogers would act if he were a front man. He didn't really talk at all between songs aside from things like "Thanks a bunch guys" "Thanks for coming along tonight" and all with an eerily calm smile.
Things that sucked about my concert going experience:
1. Having to run from the red line stop on state street to union station to catch the last train of the night because my brother took his sweet ass time leaving the concert.
2. I had two songs stuck in my head the entire night, and both were from a band that wasn't playing.
P.S. - The video from that first link is one of the coolest music videos I've seen in a while.
Fishing:
My brother and I tried to go fishing yesterday and failed miserably. I bought a new rod/reel and the reel didn't live up to its name. My brother lost two of the three bobbers within 15 minutes, and that was that. Also, I think we may be the first two people to wake up at 5:30 in the morning to go fishing and then see a 10pm concert at Reggie's Rock House on the same day. If somebody reading this can make sure that this fact is put in my obituary, I would very much appreciate it.
Graduating College:
I do this in two days. I still don't have a clue what I'm going to do after though. Well, I'm going to a dinner at a restaurant after, but that's more of a short term thing. I should probably start figuring out what comes after the restaurant...
Saturday, May 9, 2009
I'll probably never hear my favorite song and I'll probably never meet my soul mate, and neither willl you.
Depressing:
I've been listening to music the past couple hours and although I don't have many complaints about the experience, this thought has come to me that's a little depressing... Every time I find a new song that I get really into, (like this one) it always comes with a slight bit of sadness at the fact that this song has been in existence for however long and I was totally unaware. And then I think of the fact that there are probably thousands of songs - maybe even hundreds of thousands - that I would absolutely love, but will never hear because they are too obscure, or I'll just not have been looking in the right place. I'm hoping that before I die, there is some kind of technology invented that can find a mathematical pattern in the music you like and make recommendations to you, regardless of band obscurity. The recommendations on sites like Amazon are alright, but they make recommendations by genre - and I'm sick of having fucking Bon Iver recommended every time I go to that site - he (or they, i dont really know or care) fucking blows.
Even More Depressing:
That same idea can be applied to almost anything in life though. I'm sure at some point, you thought to yourself "I want to meet my soul mate, my dream girl, the absolute ideal person for me in every way, but what if she lives in Winnipeg or Cleveland or some other obscure place and I never meet her?" Or even worse "What if I would have met the girl of my dreams had I gone out to the bar with my friends a couple weeks ago instead of sitting at home writing my shitty blog that no one reads anyway and now I never will?" I think that's the kind of question that nags at me - and probably other people - but there's absolutely no good answer for it so we just ignore it and think of something else.
Doppelgangers:
That's a nice transition into one of my favorite things to talk about. Even for as stupid as it is, I'm surprised this whole concept hasn't been more prevalent in pop culture. I mean, what the fuck would you do if you were at the store or in a public bathroom or something and you saw a person that was an exact copy of yourself. Would you try to meet it/him? Would you stare at it and say "No it couldn't be..." or would you fight it to the death? I think all are rational courses of action.
Edit: I just reread this and had to pose this question, despite its pervertedness... In the public bathroom example, if you're doppelganger sidled up at the stall next to you, would you peek over? There's really no comparable female situation, but I don't think there are any girls reading this blog anyway.
Rock Music:
I wrote about this earlier, but I'm obsessed with Kings of Leon now. I still haven't listened to their two newest albums in depth, but "Aha Shake Heartbreak" has climbed into my top 20 all time albums during the past couple weeks. In that first link, just look at those guys... that is fucking rock. I can't really describe it any other way... those guys just flat out sound like the musical equivalent to sex... therefore knocking 2 Live Crew from the 'musical equivalent to sex' distinction. Although I would probably still describe 2 Live Crew as the musical equivalent to having drunken sex with a cheap hooker in a dirty motel and contracting a venereal disease in the process.
Debauchery:
So now that I'm done with classes forever and I still have another week until I officially graduate with nothing to do but work a couple hours, I've decided to make this my week of excessive drinking, sleeping at weird times, and open-til-4am burrito joints. It started off well when I had to drive to work at 7:30 this morning "not feeling well" from staying up til 5:30 drinking. I came home for a little bit to nap and dry heave in the shower for 10 minutes, and all was well except for the power drill-to-the-head headache I had. But that was nothing a 4 more hours working with a bunch of old ladies couldn't make much worse. And the week is young...
I've been listening to music the past couple hours and although I don't have many complaints about the experience, this thought has come to me that's a little depressing... Every time I find a new song that I get really into, (like this one) it always comes with a slight bit of sadness at the fact that this song has been in existence for however long and I was totally unaware. And then I think of the fact that there are probably thousands of songs - maybe even hundreds of thousands - that I would absolutely love, but will never hear because they are too obscure, or I'll just not have been looking in the right place. I'm hoping that before I die, there is some kind of technology invented that can find a mathematical pattern in the music you like and make recommendations to you, regardless of band obscurity. The recommendations on sites like Amazon are alright, but they make recommendations by genre - and I'm sick of having fucking Bon Iver recommended every time I go to that site - he (or they, i dont really know or care) fucking blows.
Even More Depressing:
That same idea can be applied to almost anything in life though. I'm sure at some point, you thought to yourself "I want to meet my soul mate, my dream girl, the absolute ideal person for me in every way, but what if she lives in Winnipeg or Cleveland or some other obscure place and I never meet her?" Or even worse "What if I would have met the girl of my dreams had I gone out to the bar with my friends a couple weeks ago instead of sitting at home writing my shitty blog that no one reads anyway and now I never will?" I think that's the kind of question that nags at me - and probably other people - but there's absolutely no good answer for it so we just ignore it and think of something else.
Doppelgangers:
That's a nice transition into one of my favorite things to talk about. Even for as stupid as it is, I'm surprised this whole concept hasn't been more prevalent in pop culture. I mean, what the fuck would you do if you were at the store or in a public bathroom or something and you saw a person that was an exact copy of yourself. Would you try to meet it/him? Would you stare at it and say "No it couldn't be..." or would you fight it to the death? I think all are rational courses of action.
Edit: I just reread this and had to pose this question, despite its pervertedness... In the public bathroom example, if you're doppelganger sidled up at the stall next to you, would you peek over? There's really no comparable female situation, but I don't think there are any girls reading this blog anyway.
Rock Music:
I wrote about this earlier, but I'm obsessed with Kings of Leon now. I still haven't listened to their two newest albums in depth, but "Aha Shake Heartbreak" has climbed into my top 20 all time albums during the past couple weeks. In that first link, just look at those guys... that is fucking rock. I can't really describe it any other way... those guys just flat out sound like the musical equivalent to sex... therefore knocking 2 Live Crew from the 'musical equivalent to sex' distinction. Although I would probably still describe 2 Live Crew as the musical equivalent to having drunken sex with a cheap hooker in a dirty motel and contracting a venereal disease in the process.
Debauchery:
So now that I'm done with classes forever and I still have another week until I officially graduate with nothing to do but work a couple hours, I've decided to make this my week of excessive drinking, sleeping at weird times, and open-til-4am burrito joints. It started off well when I had to drive to work at 7:30 this morning "not feeling well" from staying up til 5:30 drinking. I came home for a little bit to nap and dry heave in the shower for 10 minutes, and all was well except for the power drill-to-the-head headache I had. But that was nothing a 4 more hours working with a bunch of old ladies couldn't make much worse. And the week is young...
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
I wrote a long paper and turned it in today.
Writing:
I turned in the longest paper I've every written today - 14 pages - which really isn't that long considering that's what I went to school for the last two and a half years. It also marked the last writing assignment that I'll turn in as an undergrad, and possibly ever as a student. There's nothing bittersweet or slightly sad about this... this is great. Honestly, I hated writing in school. 99% of the shit I turned in was just thoughtless garbage thrown together last minute to get a good grade. I usually did the bare minimum, and I got decent grades doing it. I'm not proud of this; it's just the truth. That doesn't mean I didn't learn anything while I was in school - I learned a lot actually.
The only thing is, now that I'll be done with school in a couple days, I may not be required to write anything of substance for a long time, and that's a little troubling. This blog here is pretty much the only thing I'll probably write, and nobody reads this, so it doesn't matter how good or shitty my writing is. I could probably reach out and submit works to online journals and things like that, but I don't have motivation. I know you feel sorry for me, but that's not why I'm writing this. To take the narcissism up a notch, this is more for me to look back on and look at where my thoughts were at this point. Why not write this in a journal? I probably should have, but I just started writing and this is the direction it went. Deal with it fictionalized reader. On to more provocative and relevant things...
Funny:
I made this my freshman year at Mizzou and pretty much forgot about it. It's an inside joke so you won't think this is funny unless you know the guy.
Also, I've only seen this show a couple times, but it's amazing. It's the guy who played Red in Pineapple Express, as an ex-major league baseball player working as a substitute gym teacher. Hilarity ensues. He also has an amazing Twitter page.
Speaking of Pineapple Express:
As a guy, who would you rather be than James Franco? That dude is suave and funny and not really that hateable. Seriously, what other actor in any other movie does a guy play a skeezy looking stoner and still come across as charming and likeable, and not at all in a Matthew McConaughey douche-like way? Franco pulls it off somehow, and I have to give him some credit.
P.S - I just used Google to spellcheck McConaughey's name. If God has some kind of tax write off system where he gives you time back for time you wasted in life doing pointless things, I better get those 10 seconds back.
Anyway, That usually is an interesting conversation starter - which by the way would be a good topic for a blog post. What person's life a) in history or b) still living, would you want to live if you had the chance? I think the second one has more layers to it since the person isn't dead yet and you can guess what the rest of the person's life will be like, but either one usually ends up turning into a good conversation. I haven't really thought this out all the way, but I usually go with Paul McCartney for b. The first one is way too difficult to come up with without giving it a lot of thought - which defeats the purpose of a conversation starter, but I usually just ask the person who I'm trying to killl time with and then tell him/her why hers is such a stupid choice.
I turned in the longest paper I've every written today - 14 pages - which really isn't that long considering that's what I went to school for the last two and a half years. It also marked the last writing assignment that I'll turn in as an undergrad, and possibly ever as a student. There's nothing bittersweet or slightly sad about this... this is great. Honestly, I hated writing in school. 99% of the shit I turned in was just thoughtless garbage thrown together last minute to get a good grade. I usually did the bare minimum, and I got decent grades doing it. I'm not proud of this; it's just the truth. That doesn't mean I didn't learn anything while I was in school - I learned a lot actually.
The only thing is, now that I'll be done with school in a couple days, I may not be required to write anything of substance for a long time, and that's a little troubling. This blog here is pretty much the only thing I'll probably write, and nobody reads this, so it doesn't matter how good or shitty my writing is. I could probably reach out and submit works to online journals and things like that, but I don't have motivation. I know you feel sorry for me, but that's not why I'm writing this. To take the narcissism up a notch, this is more for me to look back on and look at where my thoughts were at this point. Why not write this in a journal? I probably should have, but I just started writing and this is the direction it went. Deal with it fictionalized reader. On to more provocative and relevant things...
Funny:
I made this my freshman year at Mizzou and pretty much forgot about it. It's an inside joke so you won't think this is funny unless you know the guy.
Also, I've only seen this show a couple times, but it's amazing. It's the guy who played Red in Pineapple Express, as an ex-major league baseball player working as a substitute gym teacher. Hilarity ensues. He also has an amazing Twitter page.
Speaking of Pineapple Express:
As a guy, who would you rather be than James Franco? That dude is suave and funny and not really that hateable. Seriously, what other actor in any other movie does a guy play a skeezy looking stoner and still come across as charming and likeable, and not at all in a Matthew McConaughey douche-like way? Franco pulls it off somehow, and I have to give him some credit.
P.S - I just used Google to spellcheck McConaughey's name. If God has some kind of tax write off system where he gives you time back for time you wasted in life doing pointless things, I better get those 10 seconds back.
Anyway, That usually is an interesting conversation starter - which by the way would be a good topic for a blog post. What person's life a) in history or b) still living, would you want to live if you had the chance? I think the second one has more layers to it since the person isn't dead yet and you can guess what the rest of the person's life will be like, but either one usually ends up turning into a good conversation. I haven't really thought this out all the way, but I usually go with Paul McCartney for b. The first one is way too difficult to come up with without giving it a lot of thought - which defeats the purpose of a conversation starter, but I usually just ask the person who I'm trying to killl time with and then tell him/her why hers is such a stupid choice.
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