It's about ten minutes til kickoff so I'll give my predictions and poorly researched analysis for the game:
Final Score: Packers 34 Bears 31
I don't see any way the final score is below 50 and I'm guessing it'll probably be closer to 70. A couple mediocre defenses going up against offenses that should turn this thing into a shootout.
Cutler: 340 2/2
Rodgers: 305 3/1
Forte: 83 rushing 60 receiving
Grant: 115
7:10 - I heard on the radio Peanut Tillman is going to play. This is good for a few reasons... first I have an excuse to link this video, second I love getting to hear a grown man being called Peanut, lastly he gives the Bears secondary a shred of credibility
7:13 - They're showing Eli Manning's post game interview right now. I can't think of any professional athlete (or just regular non professional athlete adult male) who reminds me more of an eight year old with some kind of learning disability.
7:18 - Tonight's post is brought to you buy this stuff:
Chili Cheese Dip: saturated fat, cholesterol and pounds of sodium; plus its filled with ass demolishing beans. Frequent bathroom breaks to follow...
7:25 - Normally I would have something critical to say about that Faith Hill sunday night theme song thing, but I guess I'm just thankful it's not that shitty Kenny Chesney nonsense that ESPN plays during all their college football games. Thankfully there are guys like this to write more about that.
7:32 - A white guy just returned the kickoff 45 yards for the Packers. Uh oh..
7:50 - Devin Hester's first punt return was more ballet move than punt return. Watching that guy return punts used to be the most exciting part of a Bears game and now it's borderline cringe-worthy.
7:51 - Atari Bigby has to be a top 15 pro sports name. I should do that list some day.
7:57 - Cutler isn't exactly looking like an upgrade over sexy rexy. He finally got picked after two close calls. And we were so closed to getting to see Robbie Gould kick a field goal...
8:00 - I'm calling it right now... Rodgers hits on a 60+ yard pass tonight.
8:23 - Packers 3-0 halfway through the second. I was just thinking... have you ever met a Packers fan who isn't caucasian? I bet they have the whitest fanbase in pro sports outside of the St Louis Cardinals.
8:25 - Cutler connects on a bomb to Johnny Knox then throws an INT to a nose tackle three plays later. He's been boned by his WRs on a couple plays today, but so far I give this performance a D+.
8:36 - Safety Bears. 3-2. Is this a baseball game?
8:40 - INT #3 for Rex Cutler. Brutal.
8:41 - From a fan's perspective, there are few "no way is this happening" moments worse than watching the opposing team running an interception back.
8:52 - 10-2 Packers. Top 5 "No Way Is This Happening" plays in sports (against your team)
1. Walk off HR
2. INT for a TD
3. Breakaway run/long bomb
4. Game winning shot at the buzzer
5. Rally-killing double play in a clutch situation
8:57 - I officially submit the nickname "Contract Year Wally" for Odewale Ogunleye. This guy is wreaking havoc so far today.
9:00 - "This game is starting to look a little too big for some of these Bears receivers" Chris Collinsworth has been money all day with his assessment of the Bears O. He's the best color guy in football... possibly in all of sports. Teamed up with Al Michaels, these guys call a top notch game.
9:01 - John Shoop makes a guest appearance to call the Bears third down play... A draw with 20 seconds left on third and long from the 50 down by 8.
9:05 - Halftime. 10-2 Packers. I'm gonna spend halftime counting the days til spring training 2010.
9:12 - LOLLerskates at this video Deadspin has of the aforementioned Collinsworth...
+5 fantasy points for the soundtrack, +10 to the interweb for existing so I can see shit like this and post it on my live Bears blog.
9:15 - Second half. Let's hope it gets a little better. I'd rather get curb stomped by Edward Norton than watch another half like that.
9:29 - Jay Culter gets his first name back after throwing a pretty little tear drop to Hester down the sideline. Thanks to Nick Collins for taking a moronic angle on the ball.
9:35 - Al Afalava vs Mike Brown. Discuss. Awesomeness of name should not factor into your decision.
9:40 - Urlacher is on the sideline with a wrist injury and Cutler's starting to get into a groove. No other hilarious comments at this time.
9:42 - In a commercial for the new Jay Leno show, they quote Time magazine as calling it the future of television. They do know it's already existed for like fifteen years, right?
9:50 - Bears 12-10. If you could only keep one of these players, who would it be: Urlacher or Robbie Gould? That question is way harder than it should be.
9:57 - 12-10 end of the 3rd quarter. Should be a good finish. I'm still predicting a Packers W.
10:03 - Forte has had absolutely nowhere to run today. Also, I read that forte is one of the 100 most commonly mispronounced words in the English language.
10:05 - 4th and 11, 2 point game, fake punt, not even close. As a coach, you can't call that and not look like an idiot. I mean like physically look like an idiot on the sideline. Obviously it was a dumb call, but when they show Lovie on the sideline, there's nothing necessarily dumb-looking about his appearance, but you can't look at him and not think "now there's a dumb ass". Even The Fonz couldn't look cool in that kind of situation. There's some kind of imperceptible change that occurs in a coach or player's appearance in these situations. I think scientists should research this.
10:06 -
Michaels: "And Lovie's thrown the challenge flag..."
Collinsworth: "Maybe on his own call"
...priceless
10:07 - They just suggested that Patrick Mannelly may have had something to do with screwing up the fake punt. That's a bold accusation against somebody who has his own website dedicated to the art of long snapping.
10:08 - Video replay confirms the above suggestion. I'm still trying to find the section on longsnapper.com about audibling to fake punts deep in your own territory in the second half of a two point game. I'll let you know when I find something.
10:27 - Third and goal down by one. I'm calling Cutler bootleg.
10:28 - I was close...They rolled him out and he airmailed Olsen. 15-13 Bears. +1 to the refs for a bad illegal contact on third down earlier in the drive. They did blow at least one PI call earlier in the game though, so it evens out.
10:33 - Packers ball 2:28 left. I think the Bears D finally breaks, but their pass rush has been consistent all day and they still have forced a turnover yet.
10:40 - Rodgers hits Greg Jennings on a 50+ yard dagger. Nathan Vasher how do you feel?
10:45 - INT #4 as Johnny Knox cuts off his route for the 99th time today by a Bears receiver. Bad game by Cutler, but even worse games by the o-line and the receivers.
I'm gonna go find a small dog to kick, I'll be right back.
10:55 - No small dogs, but I did cut myself and drink half a bottle of mouthwash so now I feel better... Just kidding, I just listened to Tony Dungy's soothing post game analysis. Here's mine...
Positives:
- Wally "Contract Year" Ogunleye is in a contract year. I'm calling 14 sacks for the year.
- The secondary was decent for the most part, if the D plays like that all year they will make the playoffs.
- Lovie will make sure Vasher isn't in a position to blow a game from here on out.
- Cutler looked good in the second half
- They're only 0-1 and the hardest part of their schedule is this first stretch. Even 0-3 (which is a definite possibility) isn't a death sentence.
Negatives:
- The O-line was atrocious, absolutely God awful. Cutler was running for his life all day. With a less competent or less mobile QB, Green Bay either has 8 sacks or 6 INTs in this game.
- Cutler will get ripped for his 4 INTs, and deservedly so, but the WRs were terrible. Earl Bennett is bad at football, and he's the #2 receiver. This is not good.
- I don't think Greg Olsen was actually playing today. Either that or somebody really really doesn't like him.
- Nathan Vasher is (or at least was) a starting CB for this team. Watch their last play on defense and see why this is bad.
- The Packers D dominated the Bears and the team the Bears play next weekend is a better version of that D. It could be very ugly next weekend. The Bears will be 0-2.
Finally, a trivia question for you. Which one of these is Aaron Rodgers?
Editor's note: Chili cheese dip does not sit well, especially after watching the Bears blow a late lead.
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